Age of Empires: The Age of Kings

Developer: Backbone Entertainment
Publisher: Majesco
Released on: February 14, 2006
System Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: E10+
Review based on: Rented retail copy.
Official Website

The Scoop: A turn-based port of the PC version of Age of Empires II: Age of Kings. Research technologies, advance out of the Dark Ages, build stuff, and smite your enemies!

Hitting Start...

• I'm lame, so I hit up the tutorial first off.
• The tutorial starts with me controlling the French and their "heroine" Joan of Arc. I try to stifle my enthusiasm.
• The first part of the tutorial is pretty basic—learn to move your units. Instructions are provided to me by my comrade, Jean de Metz. I like the art style; the portrait of Jean de Metz looks like a medieval tapestry.
• I don't like the unit graphics. They look a little deformed. I know inbreeding was big during the time, but come on!
• Moving units is a simple affair: touch the unit with the stylus and select where you want it to move. Terrain affects movement as well as your attack strength. Aha! Strategic elements are starting to bubble to the surface.
• My primary goal is to move my units to the city of Chifon. Aside from primary goals, each scenario has bonus goals that when met, unlock "Empire Points", which you use to buy stuff that should have been unlocked right from the get go.
• Enemy militia are blocking the river—attack Joan! My calvary gets a combat bonus because it is attacking from flat terrain. An animation of the two sides battling plays in the top screen. The graphics are hideous. And for some reason, it reports that I have killed all the militia, yet two of them remain standing in the top screen. Maybe I took them prisoner?
• I finally reach Chifon. "I have never taken so long to ride to Chifon before!" Shut-up Jean.
• I continue on with the tutorial. Now I'm learning how to use different types of units. Some units are better at fighting certain units, and they get a bonus. For example, spearmen get a bonus when attacking calvary. Siege units get a bonus when attacking cities. Combine that with terrain bonuses and you have a hearty little strategy game here. I like it!
• Jean: "You ride well for a peasant girl." Uhhh..thanks? (What's this game rated again?)
• Now I'm learning about using my villagers to construct unit-training buildings. This game feels a lot like the PC version of Age of Empires, but in a turn-based form. I'm liking this.
• Time to select a technology to research. Gotta pick "The Loom"! How the hell can we all be snazzy dressers without that?!
• Now I am tasked to bitch-slap the English. "I shall fart in your general direction!"
  
• I research a couple of more techs, and I "Age Up" to the next age.
  
• I can see a problem with units becoming too crowded on the map screen. When they are bunched together, it's hard to pick the one you want. It's equally hard to tell it to move to the right square. Thank God there's an "Undo Move" option.
• I've built some archers, spearmen, men-at-arms, and I have Joan. Time to get all "Napoleon" on their ass! "My loyal Frenchman....SURRENDER! I mean...ATTACK!"

...and I want to keep beating on the bloody English!

Am I impressed? Oui! Tres impressed!
How come? Great turn-based strategy game; a large number of units; lots of techs to research; and it has wireless and hotseat multiplayer.

Trauma Center: Under the Knife

Developer: Atlus
Publisher: Atlus
Released on: October 4, 2005
System Nintendo DS
ESRB Rating: Teen (T)
Review based on: Rented retail copy.
Official Website

The Scoop: Play "Doctor" and operate on helpless victims patients.

Hitting Start...

• Hope Hospital: where the patients need to "hope" I don't botch their surgery (ha ha).
  
• A bad car accident means I get to try my hand at my first "operation". Yay!
• The bottom DS screen shows the patients arm, which is filled with glass shards. I'm supposed to remove the glass shards and suture the wounds. I'm sounding like a Doctor already!
• My helpful nurse on the top screen tells me what do to. She's like my wife that way. Select the forceps tool and use the stylus to pull out the glass shards. Eezy-peezy.
• You didn't say I had to pull them out in a certain direction! Whoops!
• I dropped the glass shard back onto the patient rather than in the surgical tray. Now my nurse is yelling at me. Sheesh! Cut me some slack; it's my first day!
  
• Ewwww, blood! I have to select the suction tool to suck up the excess blood. Drawing the stylus upwards vacuums up the blood. Sluuuuurp!
  
• Alright, I've taken care of the shards, now to suture the wounds. Select the suture tool and draw a zigzag pattern over the wound. No problem.
• Somehow, something as simple as drawing a "zigzag", is beyond my capabilities. No wonder my Mom told me to forget about med school.
• Managed to close up the wound, but my nurse is really letting me have it now. Chill out *@$#%!
• "Vitals dropping" Oh crap, this is getting intense! Need to move fast and seal up these other wounds.
• The patients vitals are low, but I can "boost" them back up by injecting the patient with some green stuff. I need some green stuff right about now. I like how you have to use the stylus to "draw" the fluid into the syringe. This game makes great use of the touchscreen controls.
• Now I have to remove glass shards that are within the patient's arm. Scalpel time!
• I select the antibiotic gel and rub it on the incision area with the stylus. Then I select the scalpel and draw a straight incision. Steady....steady!
• The view "zooms in" to the opened arm where I can see more glass shards. Now that I know what I'm doing, I make quick work of those. My nurse thinks I'm great.
• Time to close up. I suture the incision on my first try. My nurse is ecstatic.
  
• I rub gel into the stitches and then bandage the wound with the stylus. Operation complete!
• My score is tallied and the game rates my performance. I get a "C - Rookie Doctor". Come on, at least I didn't KILL him!

...send in the next patient!

Am I impressed? I am clinically impressed.
How come? Fun game, great use of the touchscreen, and some intense moments. And there's something inherently cool about cutting open people and removing things.

Welcome to First Impressions

Like you, I enjoy playing video and computer games, but I don't have a lot of time to spare. I'm married with a child, own a house, have a full time job, have a cat that constantly pukes hairballs—I've got a busy life!

Don't you hate it when you’re playing through a game that feels more like work than fun, only to have your buddy tell you "just get past level 3, man; it gets better after that!"

Screw that! A good game will be fun as soon as you hit the start button! Why waste your time drudging through crap only to "hope" the game gets better? If games don't grab you in the first few minutes, then they have failed to bring you an enjoyable experience!

That's why we created this blog. Our plan: play through the first part of a game and post our thoughts. If it doesn’t grab our attention right away, then it gets turfed. But if it makes a good first impression, then we will deem the game “worthy of our (and your) time”.

Hey, it’s like life…it’s all about making a great FIRST IMPRESSION!

Hope you enjoy the site – we hope to have our first review soon!